Journey to self discovery and change
Although it has been a few weeks since I came back from a personal silent retreat, I am just able to put the experience into a perspective that I can share with others. This journey of self discovery was a transforming experience for me and is leading me to make major changes in my life.
My retreat was a self selected one. I went off the grid for two weeks; no internet, television, radio, news or phones except for an occasional short call to check in. I spent this time alone and in silence. I lived in a condo that sat by a beautiful Lake, belonging to dear friends. I began the retreat with 3 days of meditative fasting. I only drank water and tea. My only activities were prayers, meditation, observing nature and sleeping. As I stopped all action, my body and mind slowed down and my attention shifted and my awareness heightened. When I stopped talking, I began to hear, when I stopped moving, I became conscious.
I spent hours by the Lake and became aware of all the sounds and the movements I would have normally missed. As I watched without any sense of urgency, I began to notice the many teachings that were hidden in the life of the Lake and its creatures. I became emotionally involved with all the beauty that surrounded me; from the tiniest of flowers to the vastness of the sky, from the little turtles in the Lake to the shapes of the clouds, from the birdsongs to the rise of the full moon behind the Lake.
From the fourth day on, I fell into a quiet routine. I ate simple vegetarian food in small quantities which was easy to do after the fast and it made me feel light and energized. I began to write about what I saw, how I felt and the insights I received. Each day when I woke up, before opening my eyes, I smiled, said a prayer of gratitude and set my intentions for the day. After a light breakfast, I sat on a lakeside bench with a cup of tea and immersed myself in my surrounding. In the middle of morning when it became too warm, I read a novel or an Abraham book by Esther and Jerry Hicks. After lunch was my time to write until it became cool enough to sit by the Lake again and observe. In the evenings I walked and swam; then after dinner wrote again.
In a few days, I realized that I am actually writing a book. The name simply came to me; “Wisdom of the Lake”. Each time before writing, I prayed and aligned myself with my Highest Self and set my intentions to write authentically and with love so it would inspire, uplift and give hope to anyone who read it. I never knew what I would write about but when I began, the words just came through me. I felt such a tremendous pleasure in writing that I often lost track of time. A new passion was born.
It was an amazing luxury to follow my joy and desire for two weeks, without anything or anyone requiring my attention away. This was a time to assess my life and see what is bringing me joy and what is taking energy away from me; what still works and what needs to change. I recognized that I want new elements in my life that I don’t have time for. I want to write more, paint again, meditate and read inspirational books daily. I want more personal time to walk and exercise, read good novels and learn new things.
Only having 24 hours per day, I have to let go of some things that I value less. I made an inventory of the activities that occupy my time and realized that a great portion of my leisure time is spent on watching Television. Although I enjoy TV and my favorite characters and shows, I have decided that it is worth trying life without television for the summer. I want to see what I would actually add to my life with another 30 plus extra hours a week and how will I improve my experience of it. This is a major change in my life style, which I intend to make work for me. In the next few months I will share with you my change process, in the hope of offering you tools to assess your life and choose the changes that brings you greater joy.