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What Lies Within You? Afraid to Fail!

14 Sep 2013 | Posted Under Attitude

Until now, I have been absolutely afraid to fail.  Deep inside was a voice telling me that I will not be loved should I fail.  Growing up wanting to receive endless love and support, I never felt I got what I was looking for.  Because I did not see it I continued to feel that I needed to be do better the next time and maybe then.  Part of the patterns that surrounded me was, rarely if ever, anyone admitting a mistake, even years afterwards – in spite of the results.  So, my programming was set, always strive to be the best—but not receiving the rewards, and even when a mistake or undesired results happened – do not admit it to anyone.

Years of trying to get everything lined up to be perfect has handcuffed me, until now.

The old saying of getting your ducks in a row seems to fit; the trouble is what is the probability of getting ducks in a row.  Even if you can, they will probably not stay there for long.  So the cycle continues and nothing is achieved.

I have attended countless motivational, business, spiritual events and left charged up on one level, but kicking myself inside.  Because I felt that I could have done a better job presenting the material.  But I have not allowed myself the opportunity to put myself out there, for fear it would not have been perfect.

There came a time when the caterpillar could no longer stay as is and struggled to become what it knew itself to be.  A butterfly, beautiful and free of the cocoon.  I am now looking for opportunities to take small steps, in which I cannot fail, and as I gain experience and confidence I will be taking on bigger challenges and stages.

What lies within you that eats you up; and, knowing if this passion was left unfulfilled, how would it affect the rest of your life?

If you can't make a mistake, you can't make anything. ~ Marva Collins

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