I have spent a
lot of energy over the past 15 yrs entrenched in personal development, with so
many great coaches and mentors, sharing what has worked for them and how it
would impact my life to emulate their patterns.
I have taken it
all in and have been overwhelmed at times, hearing something delivered with so
much power that I was ready to cut my hair, shave and purchase a sport coat,
thinking that was the missing piece. I was lead to believe by some, that people
are threatened by appearances that are different then their own. The message
was to conform.
Then two days
after watching a video of a well known speaker driving the message of a suit
and tie, I received another video, the other side of the coin you might say.
In this video,
I saw a guy, who looked like me—after a day at the beach, promoting a high
price package sitting behind a table with the box of stuff in front of him,
many times covering his mouth with his hands or the product. The over casual
approach and body language raised my buttons and I turned it off without ever
seeing the entire clip.
This alarmed me
that I was put off by someone who looked closer to me than the suit and tie
guy. Was I secretly afraid of his look and did not want to trust him? Did I
need to move closer to the “other side” to gain acceptance? More confusion
arose when I learned that the long hair guy, reportedly sold millions of
dollars of product in just a couple of days with this clip.
You can never
say the wrong thing to the right person or the right thing to the wrong person.
What I learned
was to thy known self be true. Trying to fit in to another view of what is
easier from them to handle, will lead to inner turmoil, always chasing for
No manner what
we are promoting, the real product is you. People will be drawn to you and your
personality and values. There are a huge number of things people are looking
for in any relationship—personal, or business—there is more than enough for all
without trying to clone one another as the only way. Systems and duplication
are important but need to be tweaked depending on the audience.
What has worked
for you? I am interested in learning from your experiences in being true to
yourself and creating a public image that people are drawn to.