Are you harboring resentment or anger toward someone whom
you feel has wronged you or hurt you?
Think for a
moment what goes on inside your body
as you hold on to this resentment and anger. As you hold tight onto negative
feelings between yourself and the person you will not forgive, you maintain an
emotional tie between yourself and the other person that binds you together
like no other tie can. By not forgiving the person, you have committed yourself
to, in essence, holding this person’s energy inside your heart like a stone.
Yet, for most of us, when we resent someone, our heart is the last place we
would want to have them.
affects your well–being, not theirs.
A non–forgiving, non–trusting, hostile attitude has been linked to heart
disease and high blood pressure. Don’t you think it is a good idea to get rid of
these negative emotions?
is not only vital to your physical well–being, it is essential to your
happiness. Forgiveness leads to
self–respect and self–acceptance, and a positive optimistic attitude. By
forgiving, you release from yourself a large amount of negative energy. This
creates a “void” in your subconscious that you can then fill with loving,
positive energy. You feel freedom from the negative emotional bond with the
other person, and you feel at peace with yourself for having “done the right
thing.” You feel proud of yourself, more loving to yourself.
it really bothers you to think about forgiving someone who has hurt you deeply,
remember this: they never have to know. You forgive mainly for yourself.
Forgive for the good that it does for you. Perhaps later on you will have a
change of attitude and decide to “mend fences” with the other person. Till
then, forgive them without telling them, for your own health and peace of mind.
An example of
this happened to a student. She had a long–standing feud with a family member.
She was adamantly non–forgiving. She was a sad, miserable person. But then,
slowly, she began a transformation. She began to practice the principles of a
positive mindset, and began to practice the Forgiveness Visualization, even
though she was still not convinced that she could really forgive. Slowly, as
she let go of the anger and frustration, a change took place in her
personality. She became a warm, happy person. She commented on how people at
work had noticed her “new” disposition. Then she decided to take the final
step. She not only forgave the family member, she made up as well. After twenty
years of feuding, she and the family member spoke for the first time. Whatever
the problem was, it was put aside. The good feelings of having the family
relationship back together were more important. Forgiveness became a gift as
well as a tool of transformation.
someone you need to forgive? It could
even be yourself – your present self, or your past self. Let go of the
resentment and negative energy that hurts you more than anyone else. Try the Forgiveness Visualization below. Repeat
it as many times as necessary until you really feel the release and intuitively
know that you have let go of all resentment and anger.
Find a comfortable place and relax your body
completely. Attune to your inner processes and allow yourself to relax into a
quiet meditative state. As you relax
completely, see on your mental screen a stage, like actors and actresses use.
On this stage see both yourself and the person you need to forgive.
your resentments and the reasons for your anger to the other person. Take as
much time as you need. Let out all the frustration, anger, hurt. Get all of
your feelings out into the open; make it perfectly clear how you feel.
the other person have a turn. Stand quietly as the other person tells his or
her side of the story, the reasons he or she acted the way they did. Do not
interrupt; just listen. You may be surprised at what you hear.
other person has finished, send him or her love. Imagine it as a large pink
cloud emanating from your body and passing between the two of you to envelop
the other. As the pink cloud surrounds the other person, see the image of this
person begin to fade and dissipate into the cloud, until they become just a
part of the cloud itself. Then see the pink cloud dissipate completely, until
there is nothing left of it. As it dissipates, say to yourself, “I forgive you. I release you from my life.” Say this
three times. Feel the weight lifting from your shoulders. Feel the exhilaration
and freedom. Feel the peace of mind. Bask in the positive emotions for a few
moments. Then say to yourself, “I love and approve of myself.” Take in a few
deep breaths and slowly return to your waking state. Open your eyes, feeling
refreshed and rejuvenated, peaceful and full of loving energy.
Adapted from Tools for Transformation, by
Rita Milios. Available at: LinktoEXPERT/Books….www. LinktoEXPERT: RitaMilios.linktoexpert.com